Via the always-amusing Babylon Bee:
Expanding its wide range of fantasy offerings like baseball, football, and basketball, popular website and sports news empire ESPN has finally added free fantasy preaching software to its website, sources confirmed Monday.
ESPN’s proprietary software will track stats like conversions, Greek words utilized per minute, arm movement, and Scripture references in real time.
…“If you like the idea of a fantasy league, but you’re more interested in John Piper’s exegesis than Le’Veon Bell’s rushing yards, this is the program for you,” ESPN.com’s head programmer John Charles told reporters.
Part of me wishes this weren’t parody. Alas, it will probably languish in the bin of Fine Ideas, alongside Star Trek-style transporters, that shoe-parade system (about 1:33) I’ve never forgotten from Home Improvement, and the revival of drive-in movie theatres (considering the caliber of Hollywood’s present offerings, that last one is presently crushed at the bottom of said bin, but that’s another post).